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And so the insomnia begins. - Spirit
Seeking...
And so the insomnia begins.
Current Mood: sleepy sleepy
Current Music: Wishful thoughts
It's 6 in the morning, I should have been in bed hours ago. I did however finally stumble through my DDL lab to the point where I think the three hours allotted to me tomorrow should be enough to figure out any of the kinks and answer the questions. I did well on my test in NA2, 95%, which is an encouraging way to start off. I have yet to see the play I need to for Humanities, but ah well. This weekend, since we're not going to Georgia. It'll be another Valentine's day thing.

*shoots baleful glares at the wall* They're in the walls! .... Mice I mean. I don't want to have to get traps that kill them, but they've avoided the lives ones rather well so far. I got one of them, and I think there are 2 more...

I feel so bloody disconnected from everything. M's left, and I haven't even had, really, time to respond to her email. I keep wanting to, but wishes are like fishes, and they will slip through your hands. I miss her, I worry about her...

Tina's daughter is pregnant to say nothing of the other problems she's going through, and where am I? Off in my own little self-centered universe. Some friend I am. Laura's at least doing all right. (The opportunistic bitch one, that is.) Pixikins I haven't seen in forever, and I miss her too. Steph, for those keeping track, dropped off the face of the earth and wants to stay that way...so says Laura, but we all know how unbiased she is in -that- direction. *snickers* I adore her, but, sometimes she's a bit too obvious. At least I'm no longer the 'man with no strings attached' to her, and that is a Good Thing (tm). Hrm. Brig in general I miss...though there is one special lady whom I really miss, and that's Sheree. She's pregnant and doing well last I heard, but dangit, that was too long ago. I haven't seen much of Lisa since she nursed me through my tooth-owies, and for some reason, with all these women in my life getting pregnant, I also miss Liz (stripper) whom I promised I'd go see, but haven't...same with Kristy, another long ago friend...her twins are like, 2 now...and I was to be their Godfather...Lianez, a good man...I saw him at the mall and his new lady?....and made promises....I miss talking to Kate about nothing in particular, or seeing Aaron and playing M:tG and other likewise things....I miss RP'ing on Arcana, or even in general on my WW talkers...reading unabashedly...the idea that a 800 page book can take a month to read is preposterous. It shouldn't take me more than 4 or 5 days...playing video games, watching TV, going to movies, taking walks, sharing thoughts on poetry and music...

People and things strewn in the wake of purpose, you have parts of my thoughts always. Even though many of you won't ever read this, I apologize. I can say that someday, I will appear again. You haven't gotten rid of me so easily. ;)

*deep breaths* I promise you, journal-mine, life is not so bad as it sounds. There are always the good points. =) I'm enjoying my classes, I'm enjoying poking around at computers as is my wont...I'm even enjoying the AD&D game I'm in (Sorry for being so flighty Phloxy). Heh.

*looks over his shoulder to see Bri curled up sleepily in bed* And most definitely....her. No matter what goes wrong, or how much of a numskull I can be...(to nykkit and Matt, both of whom I miss talking to, I apologize for my...reticence?...the other night. I have a bad habit of thinking too hard, combined with my own fears of things yet to be mentioned in public, though I think you may guess. I did enjoy, you can bet on it, even if it took me a bit. ;)...she brings me back with gentle words, a smile, or laughter, or whatever it takes. No matter the subtext in our relationship, the core of it is rock-solid and good and powerful, and for whatever deity I have to thank, then let them be thanked and hear my prayer.

It's interesting, I'm reading this book that Bri lent me, Blackmantle (take that Hum. Prof., it's italics) which is a book that is about Love and Revenge, mostly. It's very obvious what mood the author was in when she wrote it. It's stitched together, and while I don't agree with the particulars of the book, I definitely can understand the main characters feelings. Makes me almost bloodthirsty. =) It also lets me see into my own life, as any good book should do. I'm not certain if I'm gladdened, or saddened by what I see. Glad, because I must be reverberating with joy...sad because I don't -want- to be that empty, ever.

And suddenly I find myself drifting off, so I’m going to catch a couple of hours of sleep. Planned next entries: M. A private one about *cough*. ;) If I could figure out how to make entries viewable by 'reader' basis....I need to figure out LJ...

But then again, I need to figure out Life. Or maybe I already have. I just have to tinker with it a bit to find the right settings again. It’s like I upgraded. Strangely enough I realized the other day my sig on evernight was forever and a day...

How on earth did I get so jaded, life’s mysteries seem so faded....
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ayradyss From: ayradyss Date: February 11th, 2003 01:35 am (UTC) (Link)

Mmm.

If you had a friends list, you could lock entries by reader to certain friends or groups of them. And then you could read all of your friends' journals at once from your friends page too :).

No apology needed. I know you that well, at least. And we all think too hard sometimes (peers at her latest poem)
daimones From: daimones Date: February 11th, 2003 06:30 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Mmm.

It's mostly that I don't prefer to be a lj chain, i.e., I don't want people to be able to see my friends, if that makes sense. :)
melydia From: melydia Date: February 11th, 2003 07:09 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Mmm.

i see how you are, ashamed to admit to being my friend, eh? hmmph!

:P
tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: February 11th, 2003 07:14 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Mmm.

Yeah! What she said! Thwwwwpppptttttt (lest you think I'm being totally serious today :) Just don't call me grandma. I'll shoot you where you stand.
daimones From: daimones Date: February 12th, 2003 06:14 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Mmm.

Your friends call me jeffsleaze. ;)
melydia From: melydia Date: February 12th, 2003 06:24 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Mmm.

only to differentiate you from the other, non-sleazy jeffs :)
daimones From: daimones Date: February 12th, 2003 06:59 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Mmm.

This does not leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling!
melydia From: melydia Date: February 12th, 2003 07:57 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Mmm.

ehh, you know i luv ya. if i didn't think you could take my ribbing, i wouldn't do it to you. :)

besides, we both know very well what my opinion of you was when i gave you that nickname, and how it has changed since. :)
tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: February 11th, 2003 05:48 am (UTC) (Link)
Stop worrying about me. I'm fine. That's not to say I don't miss you, because I do. That's not to say I'm fond of the changes that have come about in our friendship, because I'm not. But life is what it is and sometimes it sweeps us past the places on the shore where we'd like to stay and rest a bit, pushing us further away from the familiar and toward the unknown. Eventually, at some point, it does let us go long enough that we can walk back to those places we once knew, but they're never the same and it leaves the taste of ashes in your mouth to see the changes and know there's nothing to be done about it. That's just the way life is. Right now, you need to concentrate on school first, making sure you spend enough human time with others so that you don't become burned out. Congrats on the grade in NA2 and I will be crossing everything, including my eyes, for the DDL class to come out as well.

Love you always.
daimones From: daimones Date: February 11th, 2003 06:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. Though I find it hard t onot worry about you, as the last time you told me not to you were in tears...

And is it whiny of me to say that the only ashes I want in my mouth should come with meat attached? :)

tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: February 11th, 2003 06:43 am (UTC) (Link)
It was a momentary thing. I'm female, I cry at times. I'm fine. And no, it's not whiny to wish that at all. You're supposed to wish for things, even when you know you can't/shouldn't have them. That's what dreams are made of..wishes and hopes. It's not realistic, but then, who really wants to dwell in reality?
daimones From: daimones Date: February 12th, 2003 06:24 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Not me, not you, not the midget in the corner...
tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: February 12th, 2003 10:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
and just what are you doing with a midget in the corner? nevermind..I don't want to know :)
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 26th, 2003 05:20 am (UTC) (Link)

pixikins message

oh so i umm lost my moment cause i had to run and do something for work so ummm yeah .. doesnt the real world suck sometimes... anyway ... i miss talking to you too... and yer good for me like that... i dont know what advice i have for you ... just never lose yourself... that is the worst offense of all i think.... to grow to change... to choose another path those are all good but to lose site of oneself in this ever flowing tide is too much to bear... dont ask me how it is you ground yourself so that this doesnt happen.... i lost myself and only now am i begining to pick up the clues of who i am ....

love ya ...
and if you ever need anything write daminit... =)
pixi
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