Spirit (daimones) wrote,

  • Mood:

I am the muffin man.

Indeed, I made 40 of them. 4 different batches. Blueberry, Mixed Berry, Blackberry, and strawberry. Go me. I'm tired. I didn't get enough sleep. I also bought furniture. Bri put it together, mostly. Did dishes, she helped me dry. Now down to just glasses to finish. Got my mom her 'mothers' day present, which was a way of apologizing for deleting her files on her computer. It was a 2in1 salt/pepper mill. Kinna spiff.

You absolutely cannot miss this bubble wrap.

This is also worth cleaning for.

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic. Here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an eight-lane highway. There are seven cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, female drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers. In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That makes 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or murder. That makes 98.

34% describe men as their biggest problem. Down to 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female who has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered killing someone, has PMS and is armed.

Flip one off? I think not!

And now I'm off to work with muffins in hand.

I am the muffing man!

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