I find my thoughts crystallize so well while driving. I've been told I should get one of those neat lil' hand held recorders and user it for just such occasions. I'd probably just end up using it to look like I was some important executive, or something. Though, if they could think that and see my car at the same time....right. So I'll just use it for its intended purpose if I ever get one.
When I got there, she wasn't as upset as I thought she was. She had lunch fixed, we ate and watched Star Wars. We eventually ended up falling asleep on the couch together, interrupted by her roommate coming home hours earlier than intended. Kinda ruined our plans, but oh well. Went out to dinner and a movie (knock around guys.) instead. The movie was good, the dinner was okay. Some strange Italian restaurant. Not as good as either Casa's or Biaggi's here in town, alas. We did however get some much needed talking out when she asked me, as she put it: a girly girly question of 'What I thought about us?' The preface annoyed me, as if girls are only allowed to care. She said that psychologically speaking, girls -are- the problem solvers and seekers, so.
It still rankles. ;P First, she shouldn't apologize for caring about the relationship. That's a good thing. Second, it's not like she's the only one! Murph.
The talking involved me telling her that feeling like I'm the only thing that makes her happy puts me on this pedestal that's only going to fall down sometime, like when I slept in and *points down* I end up feeling like that. I told her how our schedules strain the relationship. How it feels like she's dumping on me all the time and how I wonder if she'll ever be happy. Yes I know she's got stress, but....I also mentioned how her and her roommate annoys me when they're together. They act so juvenile. Playfully antagonistic.
She apologized for some, talked about others, and ignored some. Ah well. At least it saved me from wondering why I was doing all the talking.
Much smooching before I went home.
And now I'm here, playing with my LJ pictures. I'll probably at some point turn on music. Actually -start- doing my homework and stop wasting time. Though I don't intend on stopping talking to people that I'm talking to. I like people. They're good for me. I'm thinking no sleep for me tonight.