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INCOMING. - Spirit
Seeking...
INCOMING.
Current Mood: tired tired
This post has little value except me cleaning out email forwards that I've had forever. This way they're searchable and useful or something.

Oh, and a few links.

A long initial message ended in "Any Questions?"

---- Aaron Diers
Just one question: Isn't Kubit spelled with two t's?

--- Michael Kelly
Always got to be difficult.... I'll keep that in mind when I roll your encounters.

---- Aaron Diers
Wouldn't it have been more difficult if I'd asked more questions?

--- Michael Kelly
It's not the number of the questions, it's the quality of the questions.

---- Aaron Diers
Could you provide some criteria for making determinations of overall question quality? Is there a checklist or process that would guide me to optimal question-asking skill?

--- Michael Kelly
Upon reflection I find that I was incorrect. Your questions were correct in both form and timing. See below...

"Every question, when properly formulated, implies the shadowy anticipation of its answer. Otherwise, we would never recognize an answer as the answer." --Plato

"To know how to question means to know how to wait, even a whole lifetime. but an age which regards as real only what goes fast and can be clutched with both hands looks on question-asking as 'remote from reality' and as something that does not pay, or whose benefits cannot be numbered. but the essential is not number; the essential is the right time, i.e., the right moment, and the right perseverance." --Martin Heidegger

Inquiry consists in questioning people on the positions they asserted and working them through questions into a contradiction, thus proving to them that their original assertion was wrong. Radically and skeptically claim to know nothing at all except that you know nothing. Perform something like cross-examination, give rise to dialect, and the idea that truth needs to be pursued by modifying one's position through questioning and conflict with opposing ideas. It is this idea of the truth being pursued, rather than discovered, that characterizes thought and progressing inquiry. --Socratic Method

However, I will still keep in mind that you forced me to look up how to question, then I had to admit I was wrong. As you well know, I hate to be wrong.

---- Aaron Diers
You don't have to admit incorrectness. Maybe Plato, Heidegger, and Socrates are the ones who have it wrong. After all, you're the DM. Don't you get to make those kinds of decisions?

--- Michael Kelly
Ah, you have redeemed yourself. Shameless praise always works well.

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years.", he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?" Without missing a beat the husband says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He lived, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.

The Complete Military History of France
  1. Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

  2. Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

  3. Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

  4. Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

  5. Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

  6. War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

  7. The Dutch War - Tied

  8. War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

  9. War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

  10. American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

  11. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

  12. The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

  13. The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

  14. World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

  15. World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

  16. War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

  17. Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

  18. War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.


Report Card Comments
  • Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.

  • I would not allow this student to breed.

  • Your child has delusions of adequacy.

  • Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

  • Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

  • The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together

  • This child has been working with glue too much.

  • When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

  • The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

  • If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

  • It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.


Annotated Indiana Thermometer
@ 70 Degrees F:
Texans turn on the heat and unpack thermal underwear
Indianians go swimming

@60 Degrees F:
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
Indianians plant gardens

@50 Degrees F:
Arizonians shiver uncontrollably
Indianians sunbathe.

@40 Degrees F:
Italian and English cars will not start
Indianians drive with windows rolled down

@32 Degrees F:
Distilled water freezes
Wabash River water gets a bit thicker

@20 Degrees F:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wooly hats
Indianians throw on a flannel shirt

@15 Degrees F:
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat
Indianians have their last cookout before it gets cold

@10 Degrees F:
All people in Miami DIE…
Hoosiers lick the flagpole just to see if their tongue will really
stick

@0 Degrees F:
Californians fly away to Mexico
Indianians get out their winter coats

@-10 Degrees F:
Hollywood disintegrates
Indiana Girl Scouts start selling cookies door-to-door

@-20 Degrees F:
Polar bears evacuate the Arctic
Indiana Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” until it is cold enough

@-30 Degrees F:
Mt. St. Helen freezes
Indianians rent some videos

@-100 Degrees F:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Hoosier get frustrated because they can no longer thaw out kegs

@-297 Degrees F:
All microbial life dies in dairy products
Indiana cows complain about farmers with cold hands

@-460 Degrees F:
Atomic motion stops. (Absolute zero on the Kelvin scale)
Indianians ask, “Cold ‘nuff for ya?”

@-500 Degrees F:
Hell freezes over.
Colts win the Super Bowl

You know you're a Hoosier when...
  • You think the State Bird is Larry.

  • You don't know what a "Pacer" is and have never even wondered.

  • You know that "Mellencamp" went to "Cougar" and back to "Mellencamp."

  • You can say "French Lick" without laughing out loud.

  • There's actually a college near you named "Ball State."

  • You know Batesville is the "casket making capital of the world," and you're proud of it.

  • The last "g" is silent in any word ending in "ing."

  • You could never figure out "spring forward -- fall back," so "Screw Daylight Savings Time!!"

  • Your feelings get hurt whenever someone points out the acronym for Purdue University is "P-U."

  • You know several people who have hit a deer.

  • You've never met any celebrities.

  • You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular.

  • Down south to you means Kentucky.

  • You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."

  • You know what the phrase "Knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.

  • You've heard of Euchre, you know how to play Euchre, and you are the master of Euchre.

  • You can see a running car, with nobody in it, in the parking lot of the grocery store, no matter what time of year it is.

  • Versailles is really pronounced Versailles.

  • You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"

  • Detassling was your first job. Bailing hay, your second. Or you could stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off, and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops, all in the same barn lot on the same day.

  • You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day ("Stoke the fire" and "fling open the windows" for the older version).

  • You say things like "catty-wumpus" and "kitty-corner."

  • You install security lights on your house and garage, then leave both of them unlocked.

  • You drink "pop."

  • You know that bailin' wire was the predecessor to duct tape.

  • You know that strangers are the only ones who come to your "front" door.

  • Kids and dogs ride in the passenger seats of cars and the backs of pickups.

  • You think nothing of being stuck behind farm implements driving on the roads in spring and fall.

  • High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend than movie theaters, IF you have movie theaters.

  • Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

  • You know a "harvest moon" when you see one.

  • You have seen the headlights used on a tractor to put crops in or harvest them after dark.

  • The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six for local sports.

  • Can repeat the scores of the last eight IU games, but unless the MVP is a Hoosier, you are not sure who he is.

  • You can see at least two basketball hoops from your yard.

  • You can name every one of Bob Knight's "exploits" over the last few years.

  • You shop at Marsh.

  • You have family members who know how to "can" and still do.

  • You know that the "Ball" in Ball State all started with Ball canning jars.

  • You know who Damon Bailey is, where he went to school, and maybe even know what he is doing now.

  • The biggest question of your youth was "IU or Purdue."

  • You can "smell" rain coming.

  • Indianapolis is the "big city."

  • "Getting caught by a train" is a legitimate excuse for being late to school.

  • You're not surprised on an August day when the temperature and relative humidity are the same number and they are both 100.

  • The Wabash River is the "biggest body of water" near your house.

  • You know several stories about how the term "Hoosier" came to be.

  • You know that the "berm" is the shoulder of the road.

  • People at your high school chewed tobacco.

  • Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, and whether he is at home or on duty.

  • You have used the retort, "You think it's cold now? Wait til winter gets here."

  • To get to school you had to drive on a gravel road, a road with several right-angle turns in it, or if you were really lucky, over a covered bridge.

  • People in your neighborhood really, REALLY like NASCAR.

  • You actually know what the CART vs IRL debate is about and have taken a side.

  • The vehicle of choice in your area is not a car, but a pickup.

  • You are a BIG John Mellencamp fan.

  • You've been to the Covered Bridge Festival.

  • You took back roads to get there. "Why sit in traffic"?

  • To you, tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles.


Mouseball Replacement

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Have you ever wondered?
  • Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

  • Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

  • If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

  • If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

  • Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack?

  • Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

  • Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

  • Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

  • Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

  • Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

  • Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

  • Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

  • Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

  • Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

  • Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

  • If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

  • If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  • If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

  • Why is bra singular and panties plural?

  • Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

  • Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

  • How come abbreviation is such a long word?

  • Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

  • Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

  • Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?


http://www.livejournal.com/users/daimones/21293.html → Some more funny that I already found posted.

Advice
  • If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

  • Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

  • Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.

  • High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

  • A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

  • If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

  • Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

  • Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are...

  • You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.


EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY - Everyday
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!

------------------

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY - DAY 183
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.

Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY Power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

The Old Man and The Young Man

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring.

The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old-timer? Never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Some presidential history. Look what happens when a President gets elected in a year with a "0" at the end. Also notice it goes in increments of 20 years.

1840: William Henry Harrison (died in office)
1860: Abraham Lincoln (assassinated)
1880: James A. Garfield (assassinated)
1900: William McKinley (assassinated)
1920: Warren G. Harding (died in office)
1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (dies in office)
1960: John F. Kennedy (assassinated)
1980: Ronald Reagan (survived assassination attempt)
2000: George W. Bush ????????????

And to think that we had two guys fighting it out in the courts to be the one elected in 2000.

You might also be interested in this. Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford..'
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a
warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a
theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

I beleive...
  • that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

  • that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

  • that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

  • that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

  • that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

  • that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

  • that you can keep going, long after you think you can't.

  • that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

  • that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

  • that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

  • that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

  • that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

  • that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

  • that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

  • that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

  • that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

  • that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

  • that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

  • that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

  • that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

  • that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

  • that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.

  • that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

  • that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.


http://comfortkeyboard.com/ → comfy keyboards of unusual design!

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/sv/20050324/tc_siliconvalley/_www11219171&e=1&ncid= → Interesting, no?

Cuts beneath this are sappy.

To all the people in love and who want to be loved

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because the most beautiful thing in the world is unseen. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. There are things that we never want to let go of. people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives. A great love? It's when you shed tears and you still care for him/her, It's when he/she ignores you and you still long for him/her. It's when he/she begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you. If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it. The strongest people are not those who always win, but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you have made. A true friend understands when you say I forgot, waits forever when you say just a minute, stays when you say leave me alone, opens the door even before you knock and says can I come in? Loving is not how you forget, but how you forgive, not how you listen, but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go, but how you hold on. It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever. In love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself. There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out they would be happier if we let go. If you really love someone never let go, don’t believe that letting go means that you love best, instead fight for your love, that's what true love is. Best to wait for the one you love than the one who is around. Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone. Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one that hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.

Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her
by Christopher Brennan (1870-1932)

If questioning would make us wise
No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;
If all our tale were told in speech
No mouths would wander each to each.

Were spirits free from mortal mesh
And love not bound in hearts of flesh
No aching breasts would yearn to meet
And find their ecstasy complete.

For who is there that lives and knows
The secret powers by which he grows?
Were knowledge all, what were our need
To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed?

Then seek not, sweet, the "If" and "Why"
I love you now until I die.
For I must love because I live
And life in me is what you give.

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived, Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to all the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean, so all prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity, who was passing in a beautiful vessel, for help. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you," Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but I just need to be alone now." Then Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time", Knowledge answered. Love asked, "But why did Time help me when no one else would?" Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."
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melydia From: melydia Date: March 25th, 2005 01:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

a forwarded joke I enjoy :)

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them,a single red rose!

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone lady, I'm married!'"
daimones From: daimones Date: March 25th, 2005 04:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: a forwarded joke I enjoy :)

Lol. That's great.
wingedpixi From: wingedpixi Date: March 29th, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. Ok we are
now going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules!
Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down..
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints do not work.
Obvious hints do not work.
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us
frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! . Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments
become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap
opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad
or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done, not both. If
you already know best how to do it, just
do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going
out. Get over it.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is
a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what
mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind
reading ability is not
proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We
know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape

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