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How is it rain can make you think? - Spirit
Seeking...
How is it rain can make you think?
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
The drive was good both ways, though on the way back it was dark and the rain wasn't so much rain as mist that caused driving to be annoying. Especially when cars were coming at you from incoming lanes. Blar. I'd rather be out walking in it. Ah well. S'hard to walk 120 miles in 2 hours. ;)

I find my thoughts crystallize so well while driving. I've been told I should get one of those neat lil' hand held recorders and user it for just such occasions. I'd probably just end up using it to look like I was some important executive, or something. Though, if they could think that and see my car at the same time....right. So I'll just use it for its intended purpose if I ever get one.

When I got there, she wasn't as upset as I thought she was. She had lunch fixed, we ate and watched Star Wars. We eventually ended up falling asleep on the couch together, interrupted by her roommate coming home hours earlier than intended. Kinda ruined our plans, but oh well. Went out to dinner and a movie (knock around guys.) instead. The movie was good, the dinner was okay. Some strange Italian restaurant. Not as good as either Casa's or Biaggi's here in town, alas. We did however get some much needed talking out when she asked me, as she put it: a girly girly question of 'What I thought about us?' The preface annoyed me, as if girls are only allowed to care. She said that psychologically speaking, girls -are- the problem solvers and seekers, so.

It still rankles. ;P First, she shouldn't apologize for caring about the relationship. That's a good thing. Second, it's not like she's the only one! Murph.

The talking involved me telling her that feeling like I'm the only thing that makes her happy puts me on this pedestal that's only going to fall down sometime, like when I slept in and *points down* I end up feeling like that. I told her how our schedules strain the relationship. How it feels like she's dumping on me all the time and how I wonder if she'll ever be happy. Yes I know she's got stress, but....I also mentioned how her and her roommate annoys me when they're together. They act so juvenile. Playfully antagonistic.

She apologized for some, talked about others, and ignored some. Ah well. At least it saved me from wondering why I was doing all the talking.

Much smooching before I went home.

And now I'm here, playing with my LJ pictures. I'll probably at some point turn on music. Actually -start- doing my homework and stop wasting time. Though I don't intend on stopping talking to people that I'm talking to. I like people. They're good for me. I'm thinking no sleep for me tonight.
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From: (Anonymous) Date: November 4th, 2002 07:26 am (UTC) (Link)

so i figured it out

ok so im stupid forgive me.... im a little dense sometimes but i figured it out... arent you proud of me .. ok prolly not but anyway now heres some feedback from me if you want it.... and i assume you want feedback or why post... besides to get things out... so anyway... driving ill have to say is like you said a good way to clear out all the cobwebs in your head ... its clarifies things ... its down time ... not a stressed time and it help give me a little insight when im hyped up about things.... so maybe i should get you one of thoes little recorders for christmas... anyway... a couple of comments... comments on the girly girl question.... well see i would have to say id prolly say the same thing... thoes kind of questions get stero-typed as more feminine questions to ask.. not that guys dont think about that stuff too... but more that it just doesnt always seem so prevalent in male conversation.... and they are prolly less likely to phrase such questions that particular way ... and then you have thoes of use who would like to throw the "girly-girl" stero-type as far away for themselves as possible.... so to asking such a question in such a way is almost appaling but is done only for lack of any better way to present it... i have no idea is this is her particular case...

second female roommates.... umm i have a little bit to say on the subject as i have had many of them.. and have also been stuck at an all girls camp for months at a time... ok stuck is not the right word cause i loved it but there are certain dynamics that go on in those kind of relationships or situations.... and just and fyi juvenile and playfully antagonistic are part of the college thing .... at least in my humble oppinion.... i mean i am after all guilty of using the phrase "doody-head" as a form of greeting between me and my former college roommates.... would i do it now.. no .. its not appropate..... was it then .. hell yeah ... and that was only the begining... im sorry if you are bothered by it or think its petty ... but too understand that you given where you have been and how your particular life has played out are not at that same dynamic as a "typical" college kid .... you have gone more and done more and as a whole are more mature... so take it all with a grain of salt ok

third the pedestal thing concerns me.... umm worries me ... makes me worry for you... i dont know how to phrase it... but its not a good thing... im glad you recognize this and have addressed this... and i hope she understands what you mean and fear... things on pedestals have a tendency to take a slight bump and then fall crasshing to the floor in smithereenes and i dont need you in pieces ok ... your too good a friend to have that happen to

fourth .... you need some sleep dearheart... .. and some good down time and im sure a really good homecooked meal... anyway if theres anything i can ever do let me know... dont hesitate to call or anything

always
pixi
daimones From: daimones Date: November 4th, 2002 07:44 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: so i figured it out

My good down time is uh...coming...sometime? I'm certain. Maybe..er. Maybe during christmas break. ;)

And if you'dl ike to come over and cook me a home cooked meal, your welcome to. =)
From: (Anonymous) Date: November 4th, 2002 08:43 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: so i figured it out

i would almost say this weekend but its a bit short notice and im supose to be looking for an apartment or some junk
=)
pixi
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