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These are the sands.. - Spirit
Seeking...
These are the sands..
Current Mood: lonely lonely
Current Music: Bri's breathing.
I have amusing things waiting to be posted in my semamagic at home, so I will save those for their own entry. Also, I need to remember to see if I can download some music at some point.

I'd do this all now, but you see, I'm not at home!

Where to start. Thursday, the job that I hate pulls me into office, fires me. What really sucks is that early Thursday morning I find out that the place I had been wanting to work out had called, just wanted me to work a first shift, which I can't do. Get home, Bri's not there. She's out with Matt. I assume this means at nykkit's house and after waiting for half an hour or so'ish because the note said Bri would be home by the time I got home..I just go over there, not wanting to wait till like midnight or something. Get there, find out Matt had just dropped Bri off at home. Yargh. Matt turns around and picks up Bri, brings her over to nykkit's place. Found out about much bad mood causingness by being overly nosey. Find out I'm not the only one whose being paranoid. Somehow, this doesn't make me feel better about myself. Go home, go sleep. Friday, get a call from aforementioned place that wanted me. They had shifts open up for me to work. So, I have a new job. Woo. Had to get a drug test so I could start training on monday, but I think I can urinate in a cup. Training will be the next 3 weeks, 1 to 10 p.m. After that, I work 9p to 6a. Which is why I"m not taking part in the gaming campaign of nykkit's. It sucks ass, but so is life for me. Hang out with Bri all day. Was definate high point. Cashed paycheck from last job thinger, spent money at Coney Island and Higher Grounds...showed her the courthouse prettyness, showed her Freeman square...tried to get her to want to go see Italian Job, but couldn't. Will do later. Maybe tommorrow? Then went home, showered, drug-tested, and went to nykkit's where I fell asleep due to boredom of not being in campaign. Figured I'd go home when it was over, but the RP ran to 4 at least, and while I know Bri didn't really crawl into the corner where I had absconded to nearly 5, everyone was all tiredy. But I'm not, and I couldn't convince her to go home, so here I am. I guess I need to be a nightowl anyway?

Oh. The recruit is an interesting movie, but I think I liked Equilibium better. They got rented at the same time, this is why I compare the two.

And nykkit's r key isn't working properly, and it's driving me mad! Not that this takes much.

At least I'm feeling less disjointed and less paranoid lately. It's gonna suck when I hardly see m'darling Bri when I'm working, specially on weekends. But, before I descent into madness. Let me say....

THank you Matt. For being her friend when I can't, for whatever reasons. I said thank you to you, but you think I meant for getting her, I bet. :)

I had more to say about my state of mind, but why bother? I find it all slips away when I try to focus on it, as if it knows something about its validity that I don't. It's the point that it hovers like a reject in my mind, one who won't go away...that's what bothers me.

With nobody online, I'm reduced to watching nykkit's laptop's powermeter charge. How..scintllating. How Bri manages insomnia..well, I suppose at home she's got the TV and books...I will neve know. Course. If I had my way, I'd be curled up and sleeping with her, but my head won't let me. It hurts since the sleep I got here was all in and out. Or as nykkit would say: No REM for you!

I miss M. A lot. More than I can tell most people. It really hit me hard the other day. I wish I could go see her, but Australia might as well be the moon for me. I know I'll see her again, but it's hard to have to grow away from someone that was really this constant reassuring backbone.

I miss Lisa too. Cept she's even in town. But between the two of our schedules, we don't meet up often. Maybe I'll try again soon. Third shift might make it easier.

And oh. Sheree had a boy! This makes me Uncle Jeffy now. I can't wait, but you know...she lives in Kansas. Haha. I'm safe. Unfortunately, children I'm supposed to be beholden too always brings up Elizabeth and Christy (kristy? - fuck. I can't even remember how she spells her name...)

Blergh. Eat Kitty. I'd rather be paranoid than talk about the people in my life that I miss. I might even start talking about Kevin and Lianez. Now owuldn't that be strange. Actually, Lianez also lives in F'wang now. I should go hook up with him or something. Might be good for me and all.

Well, short of me coding something inane for the hell of it, I'm all out of things to do. This entry has rambled on, and fun stuff will come..sometime tommorrow when we get home, I think. I should probably try to curl up with my love, but I don't want to wake her...and since I'm all restless and uncomfotable sleeping in my jeans which I can't take off (damn mixed company)..I dunno.

Anyways. </long>

P.S. I don't think I like the web client's spell check, so you'll have to deal with my misspell of things like wouldn't as owuldn't and tomorrow as tommorrow. And missing r's have been explained.
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Comments
melydia From: melydia Date: May 31st, 2003 06:12 am (UTC) (Link)
awww...you coulda just told us the missing r's were because you were typing with a boston accent! :) (actually, i didn't notice any missing r's, but whatever.)

as for missing people...well, there's the magic of the internet for you - you can drop them a line anytime. of course, that's also the pain of the internet, since you can talk to them every day but never see them, never be with them. ah, but such is life. i suppose it's easier to be lonely when you're alone, than in a crowd...perhaps that's what you need. your entries lately frequently mention feeling lonely when you're around others...ever thought of getting some jefftime in? and i don't mean being alone in the room while you're online...i mean being really alone. even if it just entails taking a walk or grabbing some coffee by yourself. we all need it from time to time.
daimones From: daimones Date: May 31st, 2003 10:02 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Hrm. Maybe work alone time? *chuckles*

And only some of them can I find online. The ones that I can, I have. :)

As for missing r's, look at With nobody online...I will neve know.</>

I guess some of it is that I feel like somehow the computer will be sucking away my life sometime.
lakos From: lakos Date: May 31st, 2003 08:34 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs* I knew what you were thanking me for. And anytime you need to get out and just walk and rant and stuff, I'm available.
ayradyss From: ayradyss Date: May 31st, 2003 09:12 am (UTC) (Link)

Rrrrrr....

I hadn't noticed any trouble with it, but if it's bothering you, I'll keep an eye out and see if I need to take Shain back in to be fixed :)
Mmmph, could've loaned you something comfier to sleep in, too. :P
Wish you could play, Jefe. :(
*loves*
tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: May 31st, 2003 08:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think what bothers me most is that while you were there bored and lonely, I was actually online somewhere being incredibly silly and completely female and would have loved your company. I enjoy being silly with you :)

I'm glad about the new job and I'm sorry about the ones you miss, especially M. Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it just makes them absent.
daimones From: daimones Date: June 1st, 2003 07:20 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Not anywhere I could find you you weren't!
tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: June 1st, 2003 10:53 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

I'll fix that :) I actually had yahoo up, but you're so rarely actually *on* where you can answer that I didn't even try to send anything. That and I fear becoming a pest at times so I try to not spam you very often.
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