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On the subject of coincidence. - Spirit
Seeking...
On the subject of coincidence.
Current Mood: confused confused
Current Location: On the porch, listening to the rain.
It's interesting, I feel, how themes seem to arise in our life.

Like...I was randomly curious so I began to toss in names and emails from my yahoo account into facebook to see who'd pop up. (Sorry Licentia, I don't know if that email is still good, but I didn't really meant to send you that invite. stupid button clicking.) And while very few people actually popped up under names I had or email it was interesting searching through. I found mashups of names...like Melissa Eastes and Elizabeth Melville and other such amusements. Even one Darryl Wakefield, which is disturbing for a variety of reasons. All these names are people I know...but then some of the names and locations (like M's exact name, in Australia, but that bubbly blond? Not her!) just...I dunno. I found it intriguing. A testament to the variety of humankind, while somehow still being 'the same'.

Maybe it's just because I'm in a thoughtful mood. I've had some good discussions about some of my behaviors lately, and feeling like I might be growing past and through them, or at least recognizing them in a way that's not defensive...which is both good for me, and the person whose bringing it to my attention. Sometimes in order to build up, you have to tear it down first...

Where it says behaviors, I wrote failings first, but I'm beginning to realize that I'm overly critical and need to redefine some of my thought patterns to not be so full of negative connotation. You'd think, given my penchant for using words precisely because of their nuance that I'd be more aware of this behavior in myself, but I'm not. And until recently, with the guidance of a few wonderful women who care for me very much (and one gentleman who doesn't really deserve to be in that crowd, but who does deserve some props for his effort) I didn't realize I came off the way I did. And I don't know that it became such a problem until I began to feel that I was failing my 'duties' as a human being to those around me. This job thing, and the recent relationship troubles I've been through, with all their precursors and resultants has really shaken me. I built myself up to a standard, and when I didn't live up to it, I didn't realize that it was okay.

But anyways..it's odd, because I'll have a conversation about point a with one person, then in a completely unrelated conversation with another person, the same path will begin to develop, though obviously with another view and these varying different glimpses can be both assuring and revealing. I know that rationally it's because you are perhaps in a receptive frame of mind, and these things come to the forefront, but its still an interesting phenomenon. Like suddenly realizing that you have a cough and oh wow there's all this talk about the flu on tv. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN and now you can't not hear about how everyone's sick, blah blah.

/rambly
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tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: May 7th, 2009 02:37 am (UTC) (Link)
if I achieve nothing else in my life, getting you to stop beating yourself up all the time will be my crowing glory.
daimones From: daimones Date: May 7th, 2009 03:44 am (UTC) (Link)
Only so you can do it for me, amirite?
tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: May 7th, 2009 06:32 am (UTC) (Link)
only if you ask nicely and say please :)
daimones From: daimones Date: May 7th, 2009 07:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Bitch, please. ON YOUR KNEES.

I mean. Uh. Nicely. Shit. *wink*
tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: May 7th, 2009 03:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
good thing I read this the morning *after* you wrote it. You may not have made it through the night intact :)

besides, you know that if I got down on my knees, you'd have to help me get back up and there's nothing at all sexy or erotic about that.

being old does have it's depressing moments.
daimones From: daimones Date: May 7th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Now whose focusing on the negative. *waggles fingers*
tangled_rhythms From: tangled_rhythms Date: May 7th, 2009 08:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
thank you for the admonishment. I'd like to say that it's ok for me to be that way and not you, but that's not exactly true. I do have to admit that the age and the weight are by far my worst demons right now.
ladon13 From: ladon13 Date: May 7th, 2009 04:29 am (UTC) (Link)
hugs. That's all I can say.
fierynotes From: fierynotes Date: May 7th, 2009 06:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Completely unrelated, but... since you just friended me, I looked over your LJ, concluded you weren't a sockpuppet or anything, and friended you back.

Just out of curiosity, though, how did you find me?
daimones From: daimones Date: May 7th, 2009 07:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Amusingly, I'm not ENTIRELY sure, given the nature of how I surf. I'm pretty sure it was a comment or some such from xkcd (since it's the only community we share). I had your journal info open, was intriguied, and then read a few entries and thought, 'hey, this is good reading.' :)
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